Serious Doubts About The Contractor

My kids lost every single suction cup that actually belongs to Drax’s hammock.

Not some of them. All of them.

So I scavenged one useful suction cup off a fake plant we don’t use anymore in there, which is when I noticed the OTHER fake plant was already missing its suction cup, apparently because Past Maia had also needed one for some reason she did not bother to document.

Excellent.

So now I had one stolen normal suction cup, three suction giraffes, a vague memory of which way the hammock was even supposed to go, and one bearded dragon silently assessing my choices.

Naturally, I thought: yeah, I can work with this.

And for a minute? I DID.

One normal suction cup + three giraffes. Hammock more or less suspended. Drax installed. I was feeling resourceful.

Then it fell.

Of course it fell.

Drax, meanwhile, watched with the expression of someone who had serious doubts about the contractor but was willing (I choose to believe) to see how this played out.

So then we escalated.

Window pullies entered the chat. There was tying. There was retying. There was staring at the setup like, okay but what if THIS part goes here. There was absolutely no manufacturer-approved process occurring.

And AT LAST: behold.

Just in time for his viewing deck to become his sleeping chambers.

Today, His Majesty’s hammock is hanging behind the sheer curtains, awaiting his turn to hang out with me after the cat is finished.

Because yes, beyond the general “cat + tiny dinosaur seems like a questionable roommate pairing” issue, cat saliva is genuinely dangerous to beardies, so everybody gets separate shifts around here.

Anyway. This is what family infrastructure looks like when the children have apparently redistributed every useful suction cup in the house and Past Maia has already participated in the problem for reasons no one can reconstruct.

His Majesty’s balcony, daybed, sleeping chambers, hammock, bougie lizard accessory — whatever we’re calling it — remains intact.